Living at New York University, has been one of the most stressful things I have ever done. I feel confined and isolated by the concrete white walls that surround me in my cell like dorm. Going into this, I thought it was going to be just like camp. It's not. Camp is a week. This is six weeks. You get meals at camp. Here I eat saltines like they are a masterpiece by a chef who works at a four star restaurant. I call and cry for hours to whoever is willing to listen. It's stressful.
Yesterday, my computer shut down. It refused to charge. In a state of pure panic I tried everything to get it to charge because I couldn't handle being without it. It brings me a sense of comfort, gives me a brief sensation that convinces my sub-conscience mind that I'm still home. With no luck, I accepted the defeat and lay on my bed wondering what I would do to distract myself from the anxious state of mind I was in.
I looked up from my bed for a book or something, and my personalized teal Bible with a brown ribbon was right in front of me. I didn't even have to open in. Just LOOKING at it overwhelmed my mind with a sense of comfort and relief. In all honesty, I haven't opened it in the month that I've been here. But, I don't feel ashamed. I understand that I have been under a great deal of pressure, and reading alone to myself was going to allow my sense of isolation to thrive. But, now, that I am here, and with two weeks left. I have to discover a way to incooporate Him into this experiance. No number of friends I make here, or minutes spent on the phone, or hours spent on facebook and skype, will relieve me from this sense of lonliness. Only the Lord can.
No one will be able to oppose you successfully as long as you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will never neglect you or abandon you.